Its the middle of the night and I still feel like crap. But it will not stop me from being opinionated. This column will be discussing the crap I see or read on the current Social Network Favorite aka Facebook.
Facebook, like MySpace and Friendster (and others) before it, is where people go to be social with people they barely if ever see. Do you wanna: Catch up with some old friends? See how whathisface from High School is doing? Or how someone you don't know's Farm is doing? You can get that all here!
But tonight I am going to look deeper into it. Find the annoying and pointless side of it. This is my opinion. Do whatever you want with your stuff. I am just writing what I consider lame.
Avatar - These are used for people to know who you are. Some people put themselves or their children. Others put things that they feel represent them. Great! Thats how I know who you are. But I reaaaally feel that they should also have a few boundaries.
Men: Flexing in front of the mirror with your shirt off is just sad. Its screaming for attention. Unless you are Ryan Reynolds or Hugh Jackman you really don't have much to show. Worst is when you have a group of guys with their shirts off. Unless you are trying to put over that you are into male only orgies thats fine. But it might be better kept to yourself.
Women: Stop with the weird ass fish face! Its like a half kiss half sultry thing and it looks funny. Sure if you are pretty you can kind of pull it off. But give me a smile or a little smirk and you'll look 10x hotter. And lets throw in the lack of clothing in some of these pictures. I need a little less muffin top popping out. Stick with the popular angle from up top shooting down to show some boob. Its classic and its nice.
Other: The avatar is suppose to represent you in an inch by inch frame. Don't put a fucking car, celebrity or any of that shit. If your car is who you are then you have no redeeming quality other then having a pretty car. If you represent yourself with a picture of Bella Swan then you really do not like yourself. Be who you are. Don't pretend to be anything else.
Status Updates - These are the majority of the things you see on Facebook. It lets you know the stuff everyone is getting into and make the people like me who are home sick feel worse. Dicks... Well anyway I think there is a need to filter them a little more.
Song Lyrics: Great you like a lyric to a song. Could you at least tell me which song its from? Not a major compliant but I do not know every song ever written. And please if you use that song lyric today wait at least a week before using it again. How many times a day can you 'Really need a wish right now... a wish right now'
Movie/TV Quotes: Yes, I do this a lot. I am ok with the majority of them. The only issues I have is when someone quotes some of the bile that comes out of the mouth of REALITV. Please don't. Snooki is not exactly on the same level as The Crow in terms of quotability.
I'm Here: Phones have all the apps that can tell you where I am and who I am with. Thats great... if I was STALKING YOU. Seriously, I don't care where ya are on a map. Stop facebooking and have fun. Otherwise you are just bragging and no one likes that.
Picture Updates: I love pictures. I really do. I like seeing the fun people had and how big their child is getting. I just ask 2 things. 1. Don't tag me in a photo that I am not in. 2. Don't 'SHARE' your photos until you are done uploading them all. 'Oh look 4 new pics ... aww how cute. Now its 14... 22... 40.' Its an evil trick.
Farmville/Vampire Wars/ETC: Guess what? I don't mind them. You know why? Because I hit the X that allows me to never see them. The only thing that bothers me is the people bitching about them and not just turning them off. Also thanks for all your help with the gifts you have been giving me. But I don't play Farmville anymore so STOP.
Whoops!: Yeah everyone can make a mistake on an update or a comment on an update. Go ahead and fix it. But before you do that could you please delete the mistake? Its not that hard. Its just clicking the X in the corner.
Understandable: I want to read your updates. I like to know whats up. But when you don't know how to spell or say things correctly I get confused. SMH or LLS is not an update. Writing a sentence that has no vowels in it makes it hard to read. I also love when people throw an extra vowle into stuff. Like 'Lose' people love to throw an extra 'O' in there. Speaking of There:
Your-You're/They're-There-Their: Come on people these aren't that hard. English was not my best subject but at least I know the differences. Once you are old enough to use a computer you are old enough to know the difference in these words.
Requests - These are usually people wanting to be my friend or wanting me to play a game with them.
Games: I'm good. Games are a fun way to waste some time. But I do not need to play every game. I have 1 or 2 that entertain me when I need to be entertained. So if I do not join the game the 1st 6 times you ask feel free not to ask another 30.
Gifts: I love gifts. But I do not have room in my games for the majority of the crap sent to me. And if its a Farmville thing I don't want it. Currently I sit at 76 'game requests' 68 of them being Farmville crap. I do not mind clicking a button to send you the stuff you need for your farm or city or w/e. But unless you actually tell me, I'm just going to ignore it.
Friends: Do I know you? That should be the most important thing. Do you know a lot of the people I know? Ok then I guess you could be cool. Are you a hot woman? SURE lets be friends. Are you some random person who plays the same games as me? Ok I can do that. We have no friends in common and you have the same name as someone who used to date one of my friends? Sounds like a Stalker... Ignore.
I'm pretty open to making new friends. I enjoy the banter. Except when I am sick. Also being a pretty lady who posts lots of pics is great.
Final Annoyances - This is just random shit that I can't find a category for.
Don't ask me to comment on something. - If I have something to say I will do it on my own.
Don't tell me what I should or should not post. - My page so STFU.
Don't like what I have to say? - Delete me. Or if you can't stand to lose 1 'friend' put me on ignore.
Didn't wish me a Happy Birthday even though they tell you who's B-day it is in the corner? - You're no friend of mine.
Didn't wish me a speedy recovery from my illness? - See above
You're only updates talk about the new love of your life. - I'm happy for you. I don't need to read it 4 times an hour.
You're an average looking chick who thinks she's hot? - Bwahahaha that is some of the funniest stuff to read.
You're a beautiful woman who can't find the right man? - Seriously? I thought that only happened in romantic comedies. Well my name is Shawn, 34, I'm an Aquarius...
Well thats enough for now. I'm burning up and need to lay down. I might have more annoyances later. Either way enjoy.
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