The past 2 years have not been easy for me. I was diagnosed with depression. I have lost my wife and home and I did nothing wrong. And that wa only a few weeks after we were discussing having children. One of the few things I have looked forward to in my life. I contemplated suicide a few times. I have moved at least 6 times. The only woman in my life that did not abuse me, leave me or get tired of me had a severe stroke while I was in the next room. So while dealing with softball this is what was going on in my mind and life.
I missed one doubleheader the last few years. That was because I was depressed. I needed some time to myself.
Now its a new season and I can't get a reply from half the people about softball. They don't care about the things I have gone through or the things I have done for them. And thats fine. I am getting used to selfish people.
When you joined the Wolves you became one of my boys.
- I have fought for you.
- I have been thrown out for you.
- I have told umpires to suck my balls for you.
- I have picked you up and taken you to and from games and practices.
- I have spent money out of MY pocket for you to play. Not counting my own league and ump fees I have spent over $300 in league fees, ump fees and forfeit fees.
- I have listened to you whine about hitting low in the order even when you couldn't get on half the time.
- I have listened to you tell me you do not want to hit last but then procede to go 2 for 7 the whole day.
- I have listened to you complain about your playing time even though you didn't show up last week.
- I have listened to you whine when I ask you to play RF. Or Catcher.
- I have seen you swing at ball 4 because you didn't want to walk.
- I have seen you hit a fly ball and walk 2 steps towards 1st base.
- I have heard you complain that I bat too high in the order.
And YOU don't want to play for ME???
I wonder why I want you to play for my TEAM. A teammate:
- fights for his team.
- gets thrown out for his team.
- tells umpires their wrong for his team.
- knows their responcibilities. Be it getting to games, calling if not playing and paying their part.
- earns their spot in the order.
- confidence is good. Ego is bad.
- earns their playing time and makes the most of it when they play.
- plays wherever they are needed.
- takes a walk.
- runs it out. Last season I had 4 hits on groundballs right back to the pitcher.
- gets on base.
I have worked hard to be a good teammate. Would I rather come to the plate 4 or 5 times and swing as hard as I can? Sure. But I want to win. A Teammate sacrifices for the good of the team. I can hit 2Bs and 3Bs. But I'd get on 50% of the time. Some of you might be happy with that. Not me. I get on 65% of the time and let my teammates knock me in. I will take a pitch. I will take a walk. If it helps the team I will bat last. Would I like to play every inning? Yup. But I will take myself out so someone else can get into the game.
This is softball. You don't need a speedy leadoff hitter when you can't steal bases. You want the people who get on the most near the top.
To Be Continued...
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Softball Part 1: Good and Bad Times
Background:
Over the past few years I have been running a softball team. The first year it was mostly just getting people together to go out and have some manly fun. We lost a lot of games but we got to run around and be with other guys. No family drama when we were on the field. Playing for a friend I hurt my foot. But it was near the end of the year so it was nothing major.
But the next year things changed. I had been going to a therapist because I had a bit of depression. Things started looking up in the spring. I was so looking forward to softball that I guess I missed the signs at home. My wife and I seperated soon into the season.
My only escape at the time was playing ball. Its the only time I did not feel dead inside. I hit better then ever and we even won some games. But I got overwhelmed. I think I overdid it. A few times my foot injury flared up and I could not walk for a day or two.
Last year things just kept falling apart with people not showing up more then ever before.
Some of The Good/ The Bad:
Good - Family & Friends - Getting to play with friends and family was great. Because of family and work I barely got to see my friends much. But during the season I'd have a couple of hours a week to catch up with them all and see whats new face to face.
Bad - Unappreciated - People seem to think its easy getting people together for softball. Its not. You'd think adults would get a schedule and just show up when they are supposed to... but they don't. There are exceptions but the majority was just an issue.
Good - Competition - Be it us vs them or a friendly in team competition to see who would finish with most HRs or hits.
Bad - No Show/ No Call - People know ahead of time that they have things they are doing but do not let me know. The people on the team look at me like its my fault. Its a group full of adults, I am not the father. People don't call or email or anything just shows no respect for anyone on the team.
Good - Great Plays - Watching someone pull a play out of their ass always brings a smile to my face. I have done it. Others have done it. But nothing is more fun then seeing the face of someone on the other team go from happy to annoyed in 1/2 a second.
Bad - No Respect - No one seems to care about the shit I have done for them. I have been thrown out of games defending my players. I have driven half an hour out of my way to just pick someone up for practice. If someone plays for me I will always have their back. But I am not even given a little bit of respect.
Good - First Game of the Year - I am usually the most pumped about the first game. The day is a little brighter, the smell is a little sweeter. Everyone is exactly the same 0-0.
Bad - Best Friends Quit - Some of my best friends quit on me. Sure some were tired of the crap from people on the team but the team is me. My friends are very important to me and I started my team to be able to play with them. I have gotten up in the middle of sleeping to help them. Always there and always will be. But it will always feel like I was quit on no matter what they say.
Good - Winning - When it happens after a hard fought game it felt great. I could not fall asleep for hours after being so pumped up.
Bad - Egos - Som people have huge egos that I had to deal with. Sure one week they will do whatever they need for the team. And then the next they are a superstar that wants to play every inning even if they misplay half the balls hit to them. They get upset when I play someone who they do not think is as good as them. Not thinking that everyone should get to play. Especially the guys that showed up when they decided to no show/no call.
To Be Continued...
Over the past few years I have been running a softball team. The first year it was mostly just getting people together to go out and have some manly fun. We lost a lot of games but we got to run around and be with other guys. No family drama when we were on the field. Playing for a friend I hurt my foot. But it was near the end of the year so it was nothing major.
But the next year things changed. I had been going to a therapist because I had a bit of depression. Things started looking up in the spring. I was so looking forward to softball that I guess I missed the signs at home. My wife and I seperated soon into the season.
My only escape at the time was playing ball. Its the only time I did not feel dead inside. I hit better then ever and we even won some games. But I got overwhelmed. I think I overdid it. A few times my foot injury flared up and I could not walk for a day or two.
Last year things just kept falling apart with people not showing up more then ever before.
Some of The Good/ The Bad:
Good - Family & Friends - Getting to play with friends and family was great. Because of family and work I barely got to see my friends much. But during the season I'd have a couple of hours a week to catch up with them all and see whats new face to face.
Bad - Unappreciated - People seem to think its easy getting people together for softball. Its not. You'd think adults would get a schedule and just show up when they are supposed to... but they don't. There are exceptions but the majority was just an issue.
Good - Competition - Be it us vs them or a friendly in team competition to see who would finish with most HRs or hits.
Bad - No Show/ No Call - People know ahead of time that they have things they are doing but do not let me know. The people on the team look at me like its my fault. Its a group full of adults, I am not the father. People don't call or email or anything just shows no respect for anyone on the team.
Good - Great Plays - Watching someone pull a play out of their ass always brings a smile to my face. I have done it. Others have done it. But nothing is more fun then seeing the face of someone on the other team go from happy to annoyed in 1/2 a second.
Bad - No Respect - No one seems to care about the shit I have done for them. I have been thrown out of games defending my players. I have driven half an hour out of my way to just pick someone up for practice. If someone plays for me I will always have their back. But I am not even given a little bit of respect.
Good - First Game of the Year - I am usually the most pumped about the first game. The day is a little brighter, the smell is a little sweeter. Everyone is exactly the same 0-0.
Bad - Best Friends Quit - Some of my best friends quit on me. Sure some were tired of the crap from people on the team but the team is me. My friends are very important to me and I started my team to be able to play with them. I have gotten up in the middle of sleeping to help them. Always there and always will be. But it will always feel like I was quit on no matter what they say.
Good - Winning - When it happens after a hard fought game it felt great. I could not fall asleep for hours after being so pumped up.
Bad - Egos - Som people have huge egos that I had to deal with. Sure one week they will do whatever they need for the team. And then the next they are a superstar that wants to play every inning even if they misplay half the balls hit to them. They get upset when I play someone who they do not think is as good as them. Not thinking that everyone should get to play. Especially the guys that showed up when they decided to no show/no call.
To Be Continued...
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Random Thought of the Day
While taking a shower I had an odd thought about residue. Even though totally clean since everyone uses soap what if there is a minute amount of residue left over?
Well with that in mind I had to wonder: Do I wash my Balls first then my ass or my ass then balls?
What if aliens come to earth with super smelling? If I am the first person they come in contact with do I want them to meet me with Balls that smell like ass? Or ass that smells like balls?
I am guessing most would not want ANYTHING smelling like ass. But how many straight guys would think they'd want their ass smelling like balls? Its a conundrum.
Don't judge me. Like you have never had a weird idea-thingy pop in your head.
Well with that in mind I had to wonder: Do I wash my Balls first then my ass or my ass then balls?
What if aliens come to earth with super smelling? If I am the first person they come in contact with do I want them to meet me with Balls that smell like ass? Or ass that smells like balls?
I am guessing most would not want ANYTHING smelling like ass. But how many straight guys would think they'd want their ass smelling like balls? Its a conundrum.
Don't judge me. Like you have never had a weird idea-thingy pop in your head.
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